This past year of my life has been filled with amazing opportunities to grow in my relationship with Jesus. Anyone that doesn't fully know our story, here is a cliff notes version: June will mark the 5-year anniversary of my wife's diagnosis with Uveal Melanoma in the middle of the pandemic. Subsequently, 17 months of navigating Covid, teaching, changing schools, fighting cancer, essentially having everything turned upside down in my life, my wife was graciously called and received by Jesus into eternity.

This left me as a single father of Sarah and Audrey (10 & 7 at the time). Everything I thought my life was going to be shattered beyond recognition. So, I just kept going as best I could as a broken man.

Honestly, I hid the depths of my brokenness and kept people at arms distance as I had no idea how to heal. I used my faith as a shield and defensive mechanism to cover my own insecurities. None of this was wrong or bad, it just left me more isolated and alone than I already felt, and I wasn't sure how to go about putting the pieces of myself back together.

I continually pushed myself forward for the sake of my children and my students. I have always been driven to take care of those around me... So, I got up and kept going when I literally had nothing of myself to give. Yet, God and the relationship I have had with him for over 20 years was ever present carrying me through each and every day. He provided for every need.

Slowly, as I realized the depths of my own brokenness and the path that I was on throughout deep times of reflection, I knew I needed something tangible to change.

Christianity as I knew it needed more. I know this is a bold statement. That's just it, AS I KNEW IT.

I was hurt in deeper ways than I had let anyone know. Hurt by the difficulty of remaining distant from others as I honestly didn't know how to navigate Godly relationships with women without having the security of my wife. I was hurt by the failed promises of many that committed to be a part of our lives, yet they slowly faded away to mere acquaintances. I was broken by God himself and needed to seek Him more. I wrestled with seeing God's beauty through it all as that is what He called me to see.

So, I decided to put my proclaimed believes to the test within myself. I needed to seek understanding as to why I felt the way I had. So, to the books of wisdom in the old testament I went, seeking understanding. What I quickly realized is that there were a few things I needed to change about myself to find the healing I had desperately needed. There were several things that scriptures taught that I was not practicing in a disciplined way.

Hopefully, through my honesty you may make a change in your life, for it has made all the difference in mine. Here are the two of the most significant things I began to practice:

Jesus said when you pray- go to your inner room and what is done in secret will be rewarded. So, I went into my inner room and closed the door behind me as a regular practice. Matthew 6. While I had always prayed, multiple times a day, I did not seek Him in a secret place beyond the foot of my bed when I felt led. Now, I have a room dedicated to this practice. It has made a significant difference.

David proclaimed in the Psalms that God would hear his prayers in the morning and that he would wait expectantly upon the Lord on watch ready to see the Lord's response. So, I made sure that I spent time in God's Word in the inner room every morning. Intentionally recording my prayers in a journal and on a prayer wall. Psalm 5. This has allowed me to track God's beauty as He works in real time. Too often, I would pray and forget- as if it were already done- but God had so much more for me to see. This is one of the most rewarding aspects of waiting expectantly for Jesus. Wow, just wow! You got to try it!

The beauty that God has revealed to me in the past 9 months has been significantly overwhelming. Learning the nature of God and how much He loves us has proven to deepen my faith in profound ways. Deepen my love of God. Overwhelmed my soul with gratitude.

I pray that what I have learned through this process will help everyone around me. It isn't meant for me alone to keep. It is all written about in God's word! The question that drove me was will I "do" what I "believe" to be true?

God has shown me that He will bind up the wounds He inflicts upon us. Yes, the wounds He inflicts on us. Moreso, even the wounds our own nature brings upon us He will heal! The beauty that God has revealed to me is profound. The Potter broke me, only to remake me! As His word teaches us in Isaiah 30; Jeremiah 18; Romans 9. God is sovereign and yet it is still my responsibility to seek him! Jeremiah 29:12-14

I'm excited about what's coming!!! I will face brokenness again, of that I am certain, but I know it is for a Glory that goes beyond anything I can comprehend, God's glory!

The lessons beauty has revealed is for us to practice what we believe. Be disciplined. Seek the Lord in the silence and solitude of the inner room. Be transformed by the renewal of your mind. See the beauty! 359° of beauty will lead to peace beyond comprehension in the awesome power of God.

This can be a lot like life and how we navigate significant life events. We always have different perspectives on each side of the mountain we have climbed as we reviewed what has happened through reflection, as life is challenging... Of this I am beyond sure, but God is in the beauty of every detail, and I have often failed to see it because I didn't know how to look for it in the moment. This is an essential piece of what he is constantly teaching me- seeing the beauty in every moment, whether the moment is good or bad.

His glory can and will be revealed to you by simply asking him to reveal himself in each and every situation you find yourself in, as he seeks to reveal his presence to us in our lives! His beauty can be found in every moment! You may have to shift your point of view, but it can still be seen as illustrated in these photos. God's beauty can be revealed throughout whatever you face in the same moment of time. You can see the 1° of your problem or situations, while simultaneously seeing the 359° of everything else too! The key is in our ability to step outside of our situation and see how God is revealing himself in every moment. Seek him and you will see him... Ask him to reveal the beauty within the situation and I am certain you will begin to see it. The key I have found is that I have to be careful not to make the question I present about myself, but about God and his glory. When I focus my attention outside of myself or the situation I am in, I begin to see significantly more at work for my good.

Beauty can be found throughout all the angles and difficulties in this life. The second photo by my mom truly encapsulates this illustration as we were talking about everything crafted for each of us on our individual paths through this life. However, though we may travel as individuals, the sharing of our experiences truly expands our capacity to love and connect to God and his collective power along with the significance of beauty shared. Having someone to share the beauty with is infinitely more powerful and inspiring. Sharing in the experiences of God’s glory allows for many hearts to praise what is being done by him. Moments like these are rarely captured from different perspectives so far away from each other without preplanning and forethought, but God loves to craft beauty through our shared experiences! Do not do life alone...

This powerful understanding would not have come to me if I didn't have one of the most unique blessings in my life sharing these moments with me. I'm thankful for all that God continues to reveal in my life and if you’re reading this, I'm praying for his beauty to be revealed in yours too. Life is more than we can possibly comprehend in our moments. Regardless of what our future may hold, it is my prayer to continue to honor God in all I do. I continue to pray for God's glory to be revealed through the beauty found in this life. Even when I feel the 1° of my situations in the depths of my soul, the 359° of God’s beauty is still alive within the Holy Spirit prompting me to seek God’s will first to see God’s will for every moment. I encourage you to do the same.

It is time to start something new. I am working hard to just make day to day a priority. So, in order to honor the calling I have on my life, it is time to start providing glimpses into the potential future that exists for our family. 

God granted me a vision long ago about what this might look like. I have faith that he is building something within my heart greater than anything I could ever imagine. This new resource is a part of that vision playing out in my heart and mind. God has given me a vision that I have only shared with a few of you up until now, but this will hopefully serve as a stepping stone into the future. 

It is time to allow that vision to be shared, so I may be held accountable to honor what God has called me into. In my mind this is a bold step forward, but in reality it is nothing significant, yet... This is a process that will take significant time as I choose to prioritize my first ministry responsibilities, my family. I have always been richly blessed by pursuing the immediate relationships in my life. 

The platforms that exist are limiting my impact on those that have followed our story. I am overtly positive and overwhelmingly Christian in today's world and the algorithms are all working against us. Therefore, I am working to find an alternative distribution method of what God is doing within my heart and how he continually reveals his grace and abundant provision in our lives. 

I need help. If you have experience in website design, distribution systems, I need help! I am also looking to begin telling my story on others' podcast and sharing in what God has given me to share. I know my story is not mine. It is God's story of teaching a man how to keep going no matter what happens. Revealing ways on how to see the beauty within the most chaotic of situations, while delivering hope in abundance! Jesus is holding everything together, "For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him." Colossians 1:16 NIV

I am absolutely no different. I am not holding anything together, only Jesus is. I am thankful that he holds me together when all I am is pieces of what he wants me to become through him. My capacity is completely reliant upon the work being perfected by Jesus Christ within who he is crafting me to be each day! All we have is the here and now, so thank you for being here now...

-Seth